Recent Cool Things

In no particular order:

I got hired permanently at my new job and I feel competent for the first time in a very long time.

Still working on "The Tower," my personal short story over at my "Fainting in Coils" blog.

Bought an iPod Nano. It's a pretty purple color. My first post-unemployment splurge.

I saw Bob Dylan in concert for the first time at Stateline, NV in South Lake Tahoe. He was smokin'. Oh, and Willie Nelson was there too. Willie looked good, sounded great. John Mellenkamp was NOT at Stateline.

I just downloaded a boot of said Dylan concert and I'm listening to it now. The sound quality is outstanding!

I'm going to see Bob again in October when he plays at the Greek Theater in Berkeley.

I went kayaking for the first time on beautiful Lake Tahoe with my good friend, L.T. Because of her efforts we crammed a bunch of stuff in two short days. Kayaking was heavenly!

Still going to my writing group at least once a week (usually twice a week).

Started swimming again.

Saw a retrospective of Richard Avedon photographs at SFMOMA, including a dozen from his "In the American West," my favorite portraits of all time.

Saw an amazing play last week "August: Osage County." It won the 2008 Tony award for best play and the 2008 Pulitzer. It's about the disintegration of a screwed up family who comes together when the father goes missing. The play was 3.5 hours but the time flew by. Tragic, emotionally draining, and funny as hell. I'm so glad I saw it even though I was late for work the next day.

I'm almost done reading "Chronicles Volume One" by Bob Dylan and am really enjoying it. Bob's a good writer and the writing is warm and intimate. The best parts are his discussions about songwriting and the creative process in general.

I saw my favorite actor, Song Kang-Ho, in the new Korean movie "Thirst" about a priest who becomes a vampire. I've seen it twice so far and may see it again as long as it's still playing in the theaters. Sigh. Doesn't he look gorgeous in this picture?

JOB

I got a job! Yes, I did!

It's at a brand new firm. I'm starting out as contract worker for the first month and if everything works out they'll hire me full-time. I accepted the job last Monday and my first day was on Wednesday. I was so tired on Friday from getting used to a regular work schedule that I felt like I'd been physically beat up. A couple of people have already told how happy they are to have me and there's a TON of good work to do. I'm soooo glad to be there and I think my enthusiasm is showing.

When I got off the phone after accepting the job I cried my eyes out. I was so relieved and happy and then they called me again about five minutes later and I had to do my best to sound normal. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm already feeling really comfortable there. I never really felt comfortable at my old job because of their history of firing people.

I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there. I hope it works out.

Move Musings: The Good, The Bad, The Weird

As you can see this movie is an homage to the Sergio Leone movie "The Good The Bad and The Ugly." This movie is a kick in the pants. Jee-Woon Kim is one of South Korea's best directors with an impressive list of films under his belt including "A Tale of Two Sisters," one of the best horror movies to come out in any language in recent years, and "A Bittersweet Life," a beautiful insanely violent gangster revenge movie.

Let's talk about the actors first. Song Kang-Ho plays The Weird (the guy on the right) and is my favorite actor on the planet. There are no American, British or any other actors I like better than him. Other actors have better range and many others, including the two men in the poster above, are better looking but this guy really floats my boat. Fortunately, he's in a lot of Korean films and plays a huge variety of characters. Although he's standing on the right in this poster he gets the most screen time and carries the film. Why is he The Weird? Probably because he's funny.

Lee Byung-Hun is The Bad (standing in the center) and playing the role of a sociopath for the first time. He does a great job with the glazed insane eyes look and creating a feeling of "Oh my God he's here. Something bad is going to happen." Even though he looks a lot like Prince with his emo haircut, eyeliner, and earrings, our brilliant director takes advantage of the fact that Byung-Hun is not only unbelievably good-looking but also has a cat-like elegance about him, a trait both the director and actor used to full advantage in "A Bittersweet Life." Byung-Hun's elegance is highlighted with perfect white shirts, black leather gloves, and magnificent tailoring.

Jung Woo-Sung is The Good (on the left). Though he gets the least screen time he gets to play the deadly accurate hero by swinging above a western town on a rope while shooting bad guys with his shotgun and brazenly riding his horse through the Japanese army while firing away. His "Good" guy is a bounty hunter in it for the money. He looks fantastic in his long coat and laced up boots. He does a great job and I'm finding myself becoming more enamored with each viewing of this movie.

What, you want to know about the story? Uh, there's this map that's found in several languages by The Weird guy and a mad chase ensues because everyone wants it. Trust me when I say the story isn't that important here. What is important is there are fantastic action sequences including an extended Mad Max style chase involving horses, jeeps, canons, and motorcycles with sidecars through the desert. People are shooting each other, canons are firing, there's a lot of dust, and horses are running for their lives. On top of that it looks like Byung-Hun and Woo-Sung are really riding their horses like crazy with one hand and firing their weapons with the other at the same time. It's badASS!

The movie was never released here and isn't available on DVD in this region so if you manage to get a copy play it on your computer.

While it's true that this movie isn't Jee-Woon Kim's best film story-wise it's a good time anyway so what are you complaining about?

Just so it's clear what this post is really about I'm closing out by posting a picture of the three heartthrobs, er actors. From left to right: Jung Woo-Sung, Lee Byung-Hun, and Song Kang-Ho (my FAVORITE). And to think that before I started watching South Korean films I wasn't attracted to Asian guys. Well, that's all changed now.

"I Really Need This Job. Please God, I Need This Job."

Take a look at this trailer for the documentary "Every Little Step."

I was in high school when I saw "A Chorus Line." Afterwards I had mixed feelings. It was widely acclaimed, even won a Pulitzer prize, but I wasn't prepared for the very honest issues it had brought up: being a gay man, talking about masturbation, and discussing the advantages of silicon enhancement as a way to get selected for a show. It seemed too serious and not enough dancing for me.

"A Chorus Line" is the groundbreaking Broadway show about dancers auditioning for a spot on...the chorus line. We see these people singing and dancing, telling their stories, and betraying their fears. I was used to musicals like "Hello Dolly" and "Gigi" and I decided I didn't really like the show even with all its acclaim.

That was the first and last time I saw it.

My theater going friend suggested we go see "Every Little Step," a documentary on the audition process for the 2006 Broadway revival of "A Chorus Line." I wasn't completely into the idea but I figured it would be fine.

First, I was surprised that I still remembered all the songs even after only one hearing decades ago. Second, I was blown away by the film in general. I laughed. I cried. I rooted for these people. And now that I'm older I can truly appreciate the real themes of this show. The subjects that startled me in high school are nothing now. Instead, I was moved to tears over these incredible professionals putting everything out there for a part in this show. They auditioned 3,000 dancers for 19 spots. Talk about impossible! Through it all the refrains of the song "I Hope I Get It" poured through me like an anthem.

"God I hope I get it. I hope I get it. How many people does he need? Look at all the people! At all the people! I really need this job. Please God, I need this job. I've got to get this job!"

And when Cassie, one of the key characters, performs her big number she says "I need a job. I haven't worked in almost two years. Not really. Why should I teach others what I should be doing myself?" then she belts out, singing to the roof "GOD, I'M A DANCER. A DANCER DANCES." Even thinking of her belting out those lines makes me want to cry.

All of these feelings are mirrored in the real auditions. Everyone needs a job. Some of these professionals have been dancing and waiting their entire lives for a chance to be in "A Chorus Line."

For here in this Broadway show, at last, is the real deal. Here are people exposing themselves, showing their desperation, showing their passion, and a lifetime of hard work. They are begging for a job. Begging for a chance. These are all things that people, especially employers, don't want to hear.

I've said it before and I'll say again: people are expected to stay "up" and "positive" and not be desperate during job interviews but all that fakery is bullshit. If I sang out the title of this blog post in the middle of an interview they would escort me out of the building but it makes me wonder what price am I paying for not being truthful? What price are all of us paying for not being real? Everyone knows it's terrible out there but no one wants to see the humanity of all of us who are unemployed, all of us who are still employed but are terrified that we will be next, and all of us who are attempting to transition into something better during these crazy times. Instead, all we have is a Broadway show, and this documentary, to speak those feelings for us.

A wonderful film. I loved it. Go see it.

12 Things In My Apartment

A watercolor I made of a scene from my novel. I decided not to use the scene after all, but doing the watercolor was still very useful.

Beautiful little pillow handmade by a dear friend.

Jar of movie tickets going back at least five years.

My notes on a copy of "Paradise Lost" by John Milton

Dunker the Penguin's egg (I got to watch him being hatched out).

Wine fridge of kick ass wine.

Miss Dog

A sign from the old aquarium belonging to a 100,000 gallon tank that no longer exists.

A pair of very expensive Italian driving moccasins, purchased in London a few years ago.

An original watercolor that lives in my bedroom.

Art books with plenty of religious imagery.

A crayon drawing made by my stepdaughter when she was 6 years old. She's likely forgotten all a bout it. I rescued it when the house was being cleaned out so it could be sold. I was afraid if I let my ex throw it in a box it would be lost forever. My stepson did his own drawing of a frog on the same day (age 4) but it's now lost even though I did my best to find it that day.

Feeling Better Now

Thanks everyone for giving me the time to be on my own. I'm feeling a little better now.

For The Loser Now...

"Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'."
- Bob, of course.

I'm playing this song over and over again right now. I'm feeling down about the job hunt, seriously down. A few people have told me that I'm not going to find another job in my field and I need to think of something else to do. It certainly seems like this is the truth. I have next to zero prospects right now and nothing seems to be coming on the horizon.

I have no idea else I can do that's viable. It seems all the things I've come up with requires training/schooling or a risk. I'm really not up for taking a big risk right now. If it was something really incredible I'd consider it but I can't really think of anything that would work.

Here are some things I've come up with:

• Some kind of art tour guide or art teacher (at least 4 years of school for me).
  
• A sommelier (at least 2 years of school for me.)
• A contract worker (the most obvious thing to do but it's not making me happy to consider the idea).

I've always wanted to work for a while and then travel for a period of time, then work some more and then travel, etc. A contract position would work for this lifestyle change but the thought of having to deal with the instability and the change in my lifestyle is incredibly stressful to me.

I'm so fucking upset about having to figure this shit out right now. I know, I know. I gotta figure something out, I have to think outside the box. I know. I know.

I feel like such a loser. I keep telling myself the wheel's still in spin. It's not going to be this way forever. I know it won't. I can't believe the only solution out there right now is to either become an entrepreneur or to completely change careers. Fuck.

Oh, and if you know me, don't bother calling. I'm not going to answer my phone for a while or my email. I'm sick and tired of being told I HAVE to figure this shit out. Leave me alone.

Movie Musings: In Bruges

"In Bruges" is a black hole of a comedy. Two hitmen have to leave town (London) after screwing up a job to lay low in Bruges and wait for the boss to call. Ken (Brendon Gleeson) and Ray (Colin Ferrall) have very different reactions to the town. Ken finds himself drawn into the enchantment that is Bruges, one of the best preserved medieval towns in Europe. Ray is suffering from guilt and is restless and bored.

Eventually, Harry the boss calls (Ralph Fiennes) and then the trouble really starts. The script is funny, sad, and disturbing. The profanity in the film has been raised to an art form, especially with Ralph Fiennes' character. Bruges itself is shown off to gorgeous advantage. The film is violent and gory, and the characters show a tremendously flawed humanity.

The quote below made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a very long time. I was laughing so hard I had to keep stopping and rewinding this part. Ray (Ferrell) is in a bar hopped up on a gram of cocaine and goes to talk to Jimmy, an American dwarf in town for a film shoot. Jimmy happens to be accompanied by a good-looking prostitute named Denise.

Ray (looking down at Jimmy and Denise, very wide eyed, pupils dilated): Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?
Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... maybe to a horse.
Ray: Huh? What are you talking about?
Jimmy: Just horseshit.
Ray: You from America?
Jimmy: Yeah. Don't hold it against me.
Ray (eyes getting wider): Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it?
Ray: [to Denise] You from America too?
Denise: No, I'm from Amsterdam.
Ray (scoffs): Amsterdam! Amsterdam's just a lot of bloody prostitutes, isn't it?
Denise: Yes, that's why I came to Bruges. Been trying to get a better price for my pussy here.
[Jimmy is sipping his beer, he nods knowingly]
Ray: Huh?
[pause]
Ray: You two are weird. Would you like some cocaine?

The next scene where everyone is doing drugs includes Jimmy's cocaine fueled, politically incorrect comments about race relations. What makes this scene so funny is that Jimmy is an angry dwarf who smokes, lounges around with his shirt open, says the word "fuck" as much as the others (but not more than Ralph Fiennes' character), and has a streetwise weariness about him. As odd as this scene is Jimmy's character feels like a real person to me, and he belongs in this story world even if he was originally conceived is a caricature from a Bosch painting.

I can't stand Colin Ferrell but he does well here. Brendan Gleeson is wonderful as warm-hearted Ken, as is Ralph Fiennes' sociopath boss with an iron morality. I recommend it but you have been warned about the violence and relentless profanity.

City Life: North Beach

I had to get out of the house last Thursday and decided to wander around North Beach. I haven't been on a neighborhood walk in a long time. North Beach is considered the Little Italy neighborhood here in SF. The unofficial beginning of the neighborhood starts at the top of Columbus Ave. where the Transamerica Pyramid is located.

I've taken this picture of the Pyramid before for this blog but here's an updated one that's actually in focus.

The day was beautiful. Sunny, slightly cool, and breezy. My walk consisted of taking MUNI to Embarcadero Station and then walking to the Pyramid where I pulled out my camera and started my stroll.

North Beach is bordered by Chinatown and you can see a few Chinese restaurants along the way as well as the numerous Italian restaurants.

Here's a quick side view at the top of Grant Avenue, the main thoroughfare in Chinatown.

The first major retail landmark is City Lights Bookstore and Publishers. City Lights is the world famous bookstore and historical landmark that published Allen Ginsberg's book, Howl and Other Poems. City Lights was considered a major center, or the epicenter, of the Beat Generation.

I've always felt that City Lights is infused with a feeling of austerity and seriousness about it. This is where serious literature happens, folks. There are chairs and they encourage reading. The upstairs section is devoted to poetry, very fitting. The main part of the store is mostly fiction. Downstairs has more non-fiction books like philosophy, music, film, etc. The store has beautiful dark wood shelves and staircases. There's a rich wooden, slightly oily polished smell about the place. It also encourages a slow progression through the main part of the store because there a couple of small flights of stairs which I am always in danger of tripping over.

I sat for a bit on a long wooden bench downstairs and read parts of Bob's "Chronicles, Vol. 1." I'm practically drooling over getting it but I can't spare the $15 right now. No matter. I'll get it later.

Part of the storefront.

On Columbus Ave. looking back at the Pyramid. You can see the long City Lights storefront on the right side there.

I love seeing this sign in Italian.

Nearby at the intersection of Columbus and Broadway is a small area devoted to strip clubs. The area used to be much larger but has been gentrified. The world famous Condor Club was located on this corner and has the distinction of being America's first topless, and later bottomless, bar. The Condor was bought out and turned into a restaurant but now it's back to being a topless bar again.

Although you can't see it in this picture The Beat Museum is located right where that light yellow building is. I should have popped in for a visit.

While walking further up the street I saw the wonderfully muralled building you see below. Also, there are a bunch of plastic replicas of books hanging up above that corner. At first I thought someone had hung up a bunch of those Styrofoam take out containers (after all there's a profusion of Chinese restaurants right around the corner) but they are meant to be fluttering books. On the pavement below them are letters and words scattered around. It's made to look like the words just spilled out of the books during mid-flight. A little odd but charming nonetheless. Reminds me of Harry Potter.

You can see a couple of the white plastic books on the right there.

Fluttering, fluttering...

Some of the words that have "fallen" on the pavement.

The Stinking Rose is a famous restaurant devoted to copious quantities of garlic. I've eaten there once and the food was all right. My friend ordered chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. The chicken was cooked well but the 40 cloves of roasted garlic were so outstanding that I was popping them into my mouth and eating them straight. No one wanted to be around me after that. I had garlic coming out of my pores for at least two days afterwards.


North Beach is a prime restaurant neighborhood and the number of Italian restaurants and Italian style cafes is overwhelming. It's pretty expensive too but there are a lot of tourists who come here to visit. Parking is generally bad, but on a Friday or Saturday night it's impossible. It can take more than an hour to find parking here. Better to take MUNI or a cab.

One of the many cafes in this neighborhood.

The National Shrine of St. Francis of Assisi is located here. A lovely little church, I used to come here at lunch when I was really stressed out. The church itself was closed but the former gymnasium was open. A docent welcomed me inside and told me about the lovely new chapel, the "Nuova Porzincola" which had just opened late last year. It is an exact replica of the original "Porzincola" in Assisi but built to three quarter size. Everything has been reproduced including the chips on the stones that make up the building and some graffiti carved into a fresco on the outside! The frescos inside are also properly chipped. It's a sweet little space, lovingly built.

Outside of the National Shrine.

The docent, standing there in orange, asked me not to take photos while inside.

Up the street from the church I walked past this wonderful Italian deli. Super sumptuous!

Z Cioccolato, a fudge/candy store is across the street. A very friendly and welcoming place, they give you small slivers of free fudge. I tried Tiger fudge with stripes of chocolate, vanilla, and peanut butter. Yum! They also sell fresh caramel popcorn for 25 cents for a small bag. Great for people like me on a budget!

The sign that hooked me!

Inside the store...

Next up, Washington Square Park and Sts. Peter and Paul Church. Much larger than the National Shrine, this church has a wonderful interior. The pictures are a bit dark because they didn't have the lights on and I try to be respectful about not taking pictures with a flash inside. I don't want to disturb others in meditation and prayer.

Front doors.

The rose window. I shouldn't have taken this shot at an angle but you'll still get an idea for the window colors.

Inside the church. Weddings here must be beautiful. I like the huge painting of Christ over the altar. Something comforting and majestic about it.

As I walked across the front of the church, a little old man was sitting in the front row, praying. He was stooped, with a delicately formed cheekbones, steel blue eyes, white hair, and knotted, arthritic hands. He asked me when Mass was going to start as he tottered on his cane in the pew. I told him I didn't know but it was 4:32 pm. He sat down with a sigh. "It's going to start soon, very soon," he muttered. I went around to the back of the church and a middle aged Hispanic woman with brassy red brown hair, green glasses, and a slightly faded watermelon colored tote apologetically handed me a few prayer cards. I thanked her graciously. I figured I was getting a message from somewhere when one of the cards read "You are not an accident." I had been feeling a bit worthless due to job hunt blues and it was a nice statement to see.

I sat in the last pew as is my usual custom. The only noise was the distant sounds of the street and two young boys in white polo shirts and gray shorts who came into the church a couple times and peered into several of the chapels. Clearly, they were playing a game of some kind. I heard another sound, a distant muttering, and I realized the little old man still seated in the front pew had gone back to saying his prayers.

Washington Square Park bordered by Columbus Ave., Union, Stockton, and Filbert Streets.

A view of SF landmark, Coit Tower, framed by trees in Washington Square Park.

Across the street from the park is a broken down building with a wonderful mural. I especially like the sign "Enough with the plywood." It adds a humorous touch.

A block down from the building above is our famed Lombard Street, the Crookest Street in the World. You can see the cars driving down it.

North Beach ends pretty much at Washington Square Park. If you keep walking down away from the Transamerica Pyramid you'll reach Fisherman's Wharf at the end of the street.

A shot of Columbus Ave. looking back towards the Financial District and the Transamerica Pyramid.

I walked back the way I came and encountered one of our iconic cable cars.

Also iconic is the show "Beach Blanket Babylon," a musical revue that's been running since 1974. They change the show frequently to reflect the current political climate and pop culture. A very entertaining way to spend an evening especially if you have dinner in this neighborhood first.

I walked back towards the Financial District. North Beach in the afternoon is idyllic and beautiful. North Beach at night on the weekends is crowded and exciting. I highly recommend a visit.

Mike's Earliest Known Painting

Today the Kimball Art Museum in Fort Worth, Texas put out a press release stating they have acquired the earliest known painting by Michelangelo. They are very proud and rightly so. Michelangelo, or Mike as my art teacher was fonding of calling him in lectures, apparently painted this picture when he was 12 or 13 years old. Below is an image of the painting:

The Torment of St. Anthony, oil and tempura on wood, 1487-1488

There was some controversy over the authenticity of the painting but a rigorous examination and restoration by the Metropolitan Museum of Art provided positive confirmation.

Mike was obviously influenced by Martin Schongauer's famous engraving. Check out the image below:

St. Anthony Tormented by Demons, engraving, ca. 1470-1475

Mike's painting has more details like fish scales which the engraving doesn't have. The rocky landscape reminds me of Leonardo da Vinci's landscape in his Virgin of the Rocks. I have no idea if Mike was influenced by this painting or ever saw it, but you can see the similarities. Perhaps it was just a commonly used convention at that time. See below:

Virgin of the Rocks, oil on panel, ca. 1483-1486. This one is in the Louvre. Leonardo painted a second one, virtually identical, and it hangs in the National Gallery in London. I got to see it when I was there for a visit.

I'm having a grand time with these art posts. In the past I've been hesitant to copy images of art onto this blog but it really makes it more fun if you can see what I'm talking about.

Glorious - The Disturbing Art of Francis Bacon

I'm barely acquainted with artist Francis Bacon but when I saw images of some of his disturbing paintings I recognized them immediately. How did I get on this tangent? Tonight I read a featured article on Wikipedia about his "Triptych, May-June 1973" which depicts his lover's last suicidal moments before dying. Not a cheery subject to be sure but the painting is incredibly powerful in its depiction of a human being in suffering.

After viewing many images of his paintings courtesy of Google all I can think of is how glorious they are. While visceral and violent, they also have a tremendous energy and reach down deep into the core of your being. Such images have the capacity to strip away all extraneous garbage so all that remains are your thoughts about life and death. From there you can consider what a life worth living means to you.

At least that's what I get out of Francis Bacon's paintings just by viewing them on my computer screen. Perhaps that's me and my weirdness.

These images provoke a very different response in me than my favorite paintings by Bosch and Bruegel the Elder. Bosch's and Bruegel's paintings of monsters, death, torture, and the landscapes of hell provide the comfort of recognition for my own dark side. To me they say, "you're not alone, we're right here with you and have been for hundreds of years." They remind me that while I might have nightmares and a sometimes scary overactive imagination so do others and there is a place for such ideas in this world too.

A stunning Francis Bacon image to close out this post:

Study After Velazquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X, oil on canvas, 1953

Absolute Elsewhere

We have precisely 8.28 minutes in this Minkowski space but that's not going to include anything that happened yesterday or tomorrow. 8.28 minutes stands on its lonely own.

"Did you hear that?"

"No," he says. He is sitting on the floor looking at me. We are holding hands. He is smiling.

"Huh. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh wait. I didn't hear anything. Sorry to bother you."

He does not reply. He's already left the room and walks in as tomorrow morning is dawning cold and hard.

"Breakfast?" He is carrying pancakes, blue berries, and raspberries. I smile at him, grateful. I'm famished. I take a pancake and a berry, nibbling gently.

"Have we met before?" he asked. He was so splendid. I can hear the faint sound of a telephone ringing somewhere.

"Wait until tomorrow and I'll tell you," I say but it's too late because last night is upon us again.

"You know, I did hear something just now," he says, "What did you hear?" He cocks his head to one side.

"I haven't heard a thing. Are you trying to confuse me?"

"No, just trying to tell you I heard it, whatever 'it' is." He adjusts his glasses. He is eating a raspberry.

"Are you sure you heard something?" I asked. I'm wondering where he got the raspberry. We are sitting quietly now. I seem to have acquired blueberries from somewhere. I pop one into my mouth.

"We have two and a half minutes left," he says.

"Okay."

The sun goes down again and the moon comes up. Crickets whistle in the dark and it's warm and soft outside. I can smell gardenias.

"Can you?" I ask him.

"Oh yes," he says, "they smell beautiful. White with thick petals. Thick shiny dark green leaves."

Now we have 30 seconds left and I wonder where we're going to end up. It was such a short time but better than nothing. Time seems like a giant wave moving along at top speed at least that's how I envision it when I have to let go of someone.

I smile, "You have a good memory. Do you think you'll remember me?"

He rakes his hair with his hand. He smiles. I sit down in front of him.

"Take my hand?" We held hands, looked at each other, and waited.

*******
"Absolute elsewhere" is a term in special relativity for events that do not occur in the absolute past, present or absolute future. An event is an occurrence that can be measured in space and in time. It takes 8.28 minutes for light to travel from the Sun to the Earth. If there was a station on the Sun and it sent a message to Earth, there would be an 8.28 minute delay before Earth would receive the message. Physicists refer to this time delay as absolute elsewhere. Technically speaking anything that happens during these 8.28 light minutes is not an event because it cannot be observed and, therefore, cannot affect anything.

At least I think that's right. Feel free to contact me to correct this explanation. I set my timer to 8.28 minutes and wrote the above post. I took another couple of minutes to put the finishing touches on it.

Today's Funeral

****This is also published on Facebook****

I went to my aunt's funeral today. She was in her 80s and sick. I was able to make a sloppy connection with my extended family but it felt like we were reaching for each other while wearing blindfolds during our conversations. On the way to the church I found myself in the middle of an inexplicable panic. I calmed myself by listening to "Tangled Up In Blue" and "Simple Twist Of Fate" in my car. I feel sad and drained.

I kept fiddling with my Ray Bans and wondering how inappropriate it would be to wear them in the church. I finally put them away. When I walked in, I gave my cousin Fred a wave. He was crying a little. At my uncle's funeral, he and I had shared a close moment when we sat side by side and both burst into tears. He had shared his tissues with me. We've never been close at all; he and my brother were the ones who grew up together.

My father was reading the obituary. My aunt was his older sister. I slid into the pew at the back of the church. My father has a very straightforward delivery consistent with his personality. I hoped the flower shop I recommended to him in the Castro came through. The specter of my family's internment during WWII came alive in all the older Japanese folks sitting in the pews as my Dad talked being sent to camp in Arkansas. I cringed inwardly upon hearing those facts as I always do.

Afterwards, I got lost on my way to the restaurant. I drove around looking for the freeway entrance and ended up by the Cow Palace then on Mission St. then somewhere else. I wasn't worried. My family teased me when I walked into the restaurant but I told them there was nothing wrong with driving around the City because I live here. I didn't know exactly what I meant by that but they seemed to understand.

Bob Dylan: The Collection

While surfing around one night I came across a press release that came out when Bob's album "Modern Times" was released. iTunes put together a digital collection of all of Bob's albums from his very first "Bob Dylan" through "Modern Times." In addition, you get 42 rare tracks. The albums include his studio albums, the entire bootleg series, greatest hits albums, all the live albums, plus a 100 page booklet. It's all digital, of course. The price? $200.00. The total number of tracks is 773 or 53 albums (over 3 gigs of music).

Some Bob fans aren't very happy because they already own most or all the albums and they're angry that iTunes isn't offering the 42 rare tracks as a separate bundle. Also, because of the greatest hits albums there are many duplicate recordings. Still, for all the disadvantages I have to admit that my eyes went cross-eyed when I went onto iTunes to check it out. Even accounting for duplications that's still a staggering amount of music. Because Bob's catalog of music is so vast I had to put together a list of 16 albums to start with but since I've only bought a handful of his albums so far getting this collection is perfect for someone like me who's just starting out.

Given my unemployed status I won't be buying this collection anytime soon but it's definitely something I'm planning to work towards. When I get this new collection I'm going to have to buy a new iPod something I'd been planning to do anyway.