Monday, October 07, 2013

Hummingbird by Wilco

"Remember to remember me..."
In this video, Jeffrey grows up and stops drawing his funny little bird, leaving his childhood behind.

When I was getting ready for my wedding one of the things on my list was packing away my stuffed animals.

I'd been avoiding this task because I was packing them up and putting them away in my parents' house, not taking them with me. I was a grown woman, an adult, so there was no place in my life with my new husband for old stuffed animals in various shades of pink.

I finally bit the bullet and did it. I cried the whole time.

And they are still in boxes in the rafters of my parents' garage.

I wonder about that idea, that there's no place in an adult person's life for childish things. We put our toys away when we outgrow them. Or in the case of the video, we stop doing childish things such as drawing funny birds having adventures. What is the point of that exercise? Why can't there a place in our lives for these things?

I'd promised all my stuffed animals that I would come back for them, that they would continue to have their parties, wild ones, tea laden ones, at night when I was sleep and when no one was home. If you've read this blog even a little you will know that those childish things continue in my adult imagination and in my writing life.

There's a whole entire world out there and in me where these things still live and grow. Maybe it was necessary for me to put away those childish things to come back to how important they are. Or maybe they were always important.
I listen to this song all the time, it's in my top 25, but this video always makes me misty-eyed especially when the bird whispers "Jeffrey..." It's a fitting reminder of those old, pink friends still in those boxes.

Edit: Okay, I lied. Watching this video makes me bawl my head off...

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